A Gift

We brought my mother to my sister's house on Christmas day where she sat embraced by her family...daughters, sons-in-law, grandchildren and great-grandchildren as presents were exchanged, children were excited and she was loved. We were loved, all of us, each in our own way and for our own reasons we loved and were loved and shared the best of Christmas with each other. I worked at not watching her, not forcing the moments of our time together on that day to burn into me so I could hold the memory of this Christmas forever. It was hard to look away.

I never knew my Grandmothers so what I know of how grandchildren love their grandmothers comes only from watching my children, nieces, nephews and grandchildren. The love I saw on Christmas came in the form of my nephews' hands extended to help their grandmother up the steps, genuine smiles, the deep from the heart smiles from 'the girls' that revealed raw emotion that most of us don't allow to surface often enough, and throughout all the food and wrapping paper and laughter there were my mother's great grandchildren, those beautiful children who wove themselves into the fabric of our family and the celebration of our time together.

We took my mother back to the Nursing Home and as she walked in I watched her greet everyone in a style becoming a reigning monarch. She drew broad smiles from staff, warm greetings from visitors and mild glances from others who live there. She announced her return to all who would listen and even those who couldn't. Her room awaited and she sat in the chair beside her bed with the same sigh she uttered when she returned to her chair in her house after an outing. A sigh that, for me, translates to a degree of comfort, a level of contentment, maybe even the beginning of satisfaction. Whatever she truly felt on that day, at that moment I have no way to know. But what I saw, what I watched, what I believe she felt was acceptance. Acceptance of her, acceptance for her and at some level acceptance of this transition in her life. This transition that has affected all of us so deeply but none more than my mother.

As she fades away from us I will try to hold fast to what I saw on Christmas day. Her ability to love and be loved. A gift that now extends to the third generation. A gift she has given freely and gladly. A gift of true value.