And the Winner Is...

I walked with my mother and sister today. They were with me at my desk in my office, through the halls of the hospital, in the meetings, phone calls and e-mails. They walked beside me, every step of a busy day that was faced with all the difficulties of our heath care system, the stresses of too many patients, too much illness and too many sad stories. They were with me for the successes, the thanks of a Charge Nurse for understanding and letting her vent, the warm welcome of a colleague not seen since Spring, the excitement of the upcoming move into a new building where new life will be delivered and the smallest will be saved. They shared my day.

They held me up when I thought the final straw, a call to the President's Office, would break my day, they chuckled with me at the joke a staff member emailed because she thought I could use the laugh and they hugged my secretary when she sent pictures of her son's climb in the Tetons. They shared my tears as my sister told me on the phone of her conversation with Mom last night, a conversation that ended with Mom understanding that she could not live alone any longer. An understanding that may be transient, but on some level sits on my mother's soul, an understanding that sits heavy on our hearts, heavy enough to break them.

They listened in the hospital cafeteria when the cashier couldn't remember who co-starred with Gene Kelly in the movie Singing In the Rain. They shook their heads at the guesses: Judy Garland, Julie Andrews, Doris Day, and agreed with me that even though I didn't know the answer, I knew those were wrong. My mother grew up with the movies. She and her friends went to the theater every week and pined for the greats, Nelson Eddy, Betty Davis, Clark Gable. Penny and I joked that our husbands would have to pass a Gone With the Wind trivia test before we would be allowed to marry them. My father agreed to name me Bonnie but drew the line at Bonnie Blue. (Thanks, Dad!) Melanie was choice number two. I was almost a teenager before I watched the movie and discovered I was named for a spoiled child who died at the age of four. Probably a good choice, I'm no Melanie.

And so they walked with me then, up to my office, and held my hand as I dialed Mom's number and asked the question so I could put my mind at ease. Solve one problem that was simple. One problem that didn't involve the technicalities of health care or the hospital or the complexity of meeting the needs of critically ill patients while balancing the business side of the work we do. One that involved nothing more than the name of an actress.

I think it was only my sister's hand I felt in mine after I hung up the phone and googled Singing In the Rain....it was Debbie Reynolds.