Wednesday, September 24, 2008

It's The Little Things

My husband is home on Wednesdays, it took months for me to convince him to give up his mid-week tractor-trailer route but I don't think he regrets it. That extra day in his schedule, the extra day of rest is worth a bit less money. I can't hide my envy, my jealousy as I struggle to get to the hospital on time and he pours another cup of coffee and wishes me a good day.

On his day off today he went to see my mother. By himself. Just to check on her. The man I've been married to for 34 years, this man who to this day when we are with my mother does not call her by name, simply looks at her and talks, went to check on her because he knew she was alone and that worried him. So he went to see her.

It's such a small thing, a visit. Time taken out of a day to be with someone. Say hello, how are you, share small talk. That's what my mother does now, small talk. When he arrived she was on the couch reading, so he stayed for a little while, gave her a few miniature candy bars from the cupboard then went home. No big deal, he told me.

She's still talking about it tonight, this 'no big deal'. This unexpected visit from her son-in-law in the middle of the day. His day. His day to spend however he wanted to spend it and he chose her. Chose her with candy (the fact that the candy was hers to begin with is irrelevant!).

While he was with her I was at a celebration. A celebration of patients who have overcome obstacles and won. Patients, people who fought to walk, to talk, to live. People who struggled. What they talked about was not how great it felt to win, to beat the odds, but how important the little things were and are. How they didn't do it alone. Couldn't sustain it alone still.

There weren't many dry eyes around the tables of that celebration today. Tears of joy, of thanks, tears of sympathy and even those of victory. For me, tonight, when my tears come, and they will, they will be a mix of all those things, all those emotions, but mostly they will be shed in thanks. Thanks for all the little things, the small things that might seem like no big deal, but in truth are everything.

1 comment:

Peg said...

I am so appreciative that you are sharing those little "not so big things" with all of your readers. There is a saying and I'm sure you've heard it "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away". Thank you for the sighs you give me as I read and think "I so understand"

PEG