Joy

I see joy in things, small blessings that appear throughout the day and I am strengthened. At the hospital, the world I live in and have lived in for most of my career it is sometimes difficult to see the joy amid the sadness, the pain and suffering of our patients, the agony of their families and the passion and commitment of the staff who care for them all. I have been on both sides and am thankful that today, this day, our health is strong. Today we do not suffer.

My joys come in all shapes, sizes, colors, sound and time. From the obvious, my grandchildren as they tumble out the door of their bedroom into my arms, to the less obvious, morning air my husband and I call "Idaho mornings", a morning with air so crisp and clean it begs to be touched, to be walked in, to be inhaled. Air we shared together on an Anniversary trip out west that we recall with joy. Memories that surface and let us relive the intensity of that journey.

There is joy in my days, though at times I have to search for it, move all the junk aside and purposely seek it. Sometimes I find it readily and on those days I hold it close and move through the work of the day, or night with a lighter burden. Other days it takes longer to find, maybe not find but recognize. I'm working on the recognition part.

I treasure these moments, moments when I recognize the beauty of my life, the good fortune I have, the family I have, the friends I have and realize that it has become easier for me to acknowledge what is meaningful, what I value, what I hold most dear. It could be my age, our 50s are supposed to bring us wisdom afterall, and maybe that's it, at least part of it. I think it has more to do with loss. With having something disappear, something I loved, something I still do love. Not something...someone. Little pockets of joy can brighten your whole day.